I've been pretty pissy all week. Not exactly sure why. Probably because I am not working out. I didn't workout like I had wanted this week. I am still wearing the pedometer and walking at least 10,000 a day but I didn't do the elliptical. No cardio.
I have no motivation to do it and have many excuses. We have a new workout facility room where I work because the whole building is going through construction. I use to be able to workout by myself in an instructional weight room. Now can't. I hate walking into a workout facility. I feel as though everyone is looking at me thinking, why are you here? I know logically that 1) that's very narcissistic and no one probably even notices me, 2) working out has nothing to do with me being thin, it's about health.
I also am afraid that in my mind because I am working out I will start to eat more. I will tell myself, well you worked out so you can eat that. I have been doing so good with food and don't want that to stop. I also am pissed that I haven't lost any weight in a few weeks. I have lost 2 inches off my waist and one off my hips but I have been at a steady weight for 3 weeks. I know that happens. I know the weight didn't take 1 month to get on and it won't take 1 month to get off.
Tonight I almost went to the convenience store and got 2 doughnuts. I ended up eating cereal a banana. I am glad I didn't go get the doughnuts.
I don't know what my plan is for all of this. I just know you can't change what you don't acknowledge. So I am venting about the feelings I have about working out. I need a day to process.
On another note, I am very thankful for this blog and look forward to hearing everyones progress and challenges. It's nice to know I am not alone.